I’ve been hearing about Fairytale Fights from time to time, seeing it in action at some expos and being surprised by its cutesy art style coupled with sadistic blood drenched hack n’ slash gameplay. When some of story time’s most famous characters find themselves usurped by a strange new hero, they’ll have to hack/slash/stab/shoot/disembowel/impale/punch/decapitate their way through magical fairytale lands in order to reclaim their celebrity status.  Filled with magic, mayhem and gratuitous amounts of violence, Fairytale Fights has all the makings of a Castle Crasher-esque adventure.   Getting my hands on a copy I have to say that this is a title that had some positive things going for it, but ultimately fell far short of my expectations.

Visually, Fairytale Fights looks fantastic from afar, with a non-sensical art style lending itself well to the fantasy realms of these gory fairytales. One of the first major issues I had playing the game was with the shoddy camera work, as battles are viewed from a static camera situated far away that allows props and landscaping to obscure your view. It’s hard enough laying siege to insane lumberjacks and devious wolves without being forced to view things from behind a forest of obstructions. Also, if you’re not going to have character voices, don’t give them wild facial and body animations coupled with generic “blah blah” noises. It makes me think someone forgot to insert dialogue at the last minute and scrambled for placeholders instead.

Combat comes down to aiming the analogue stick in the direction of your enemies, while special attacks are triggered by holding back on the stick followed by thrusting forward. This tactic was un-engaging and annoying as there was no physical feedback letting me know I was actually hitting anything, while most encounters ended in me nearly snapping the analogue stick in two as I tried slicing in too many directions at once.  There are few combos to speak of, while for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to initiate a “Glory attack” after triggering it. Sure, a gnarly looking animation panel popped up (obscuring even MORE of the battlefield) but my power levels quickly dropped and there was no Bada-Boom to speak of. I later learned the correct technique, but this was one of many moments where the game’s limited tutorial let me down.

Characters can carry three weapons at a time, one ranged, one blunt, and one sharpened. This wouldn’t be all that bothersome if it weren’t for the fact that item management is non-existent. Picking up and throwing weapons is relegated to one bumper while cycling through your weapons classes is triggered by the other. You can only compare weapons ratings after you pick up a new object, so good luck remembering how many stars your previous axe was worth after sloshing through a pile of creative yet less powered weapons and finally managing to choose the bayonet you wanted. While all of this is going on, you are being accosted by scores of enemies, each dropping/throwing their own weapons onto the field in the process and forcing you to kill everything before slowly digging through the remains.

There is little variety in mission structure, as you basically go from one end of a level to the other in order to complete your quest and defeat a boss of sorts. Along the way there are a few puzzles scattered about for flair, but they don’t really add any overall challenge to the experience. My main issue was that I felt no compulsion to finish the levels, as there was little reward. There’s barely any story to speak of, the majority of weapons can be found on the field, and treasures you find go towards buying useless potions and other knick knacks in the hub world.

Sliding through pools of blood like some manic figure skater was a welcome release in this otherwise mundane game, where even the music started putting me to sleep. Fairytale Fights also features multiplayer and Co-Op features so you can share the fun with friends, as long as you can find it. It’s a shame, because I really wanted to like this title. Unfortunately, the poor execution and underwhelming simplicity coupled with broken fight mechanics means passing on this one. This could be a good bargain bin purchase, and maybe fans of old school platformers will get a kick from some old-school throwbacks. Other than that though, I’d have to say Fairytale Fights just doesn’t have a happily ever after.